Priorities: Psalm 27

We start every morning with a Psalm. I have been trying to explain to the children the difference between knowing about God, knowing the Bible stories, historical events, prophecies fulfilled and so forth, and actually knowing God Himself, loving and worshipping Him. These are quite difficult concepts to explain to young children, but when it comes to worship, I find nowhere better to start than in the Psalms.

Whilst considering priorities for the coming year, I have often returned to Psalm 27:

'One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord , and to inquire in His temple' Psalm 27:4

What one thing do you desire for 2016?
What do you prioritise for your family?
What occupies your prayers?
How will you use your time?

The glory of God is evident in creation, and there are many beautiful things in this world. There are also many dreadful occurrences and ugly scenes which dominate the press. There are achievements to celebrate, disappointments to commiserate. There will be life events - some planned, others unexpected. There will be times of rejoicing and times of sorrow. But what matters most?

This morning I read Philippians Chapter 3, and the words of the Apostle Paul:

'But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead'. Philippians 3:7-11

That Paul wrote this - the man who did so much for the gospel, who faced so many hardships and trials and yet counted these 'a light and momentary affliction'. He wrote with real humility - that he wanted nothing other than to know Christ more.

In my own spiritual life, that is my priority. I often rise early before the rest of the family - at times that is difficult and can be tiring, but the quiet morning hours are so precious. Even ten minutes alone with the Bible and prayer in food for my soul, and yet so often I am ashamed at what a small percentage of each day I spend alone with the Lord.

In my family life, this is my priority. We read the Bible and various storybook Bibles and Christian biographies several times a day, and the curriculum we use (Sonlight) provides a Biblical worldview. Our decision to home educate has been largely shaped by our desire to provide the boys with this foundation (although there are MANY other positive reasons to home educate!)

In the workplace, using every opportunity for God's glory has to come before the pursuit of academic success or popularity. Working amongst vulnerable populations, my desire is to radiate some of the love of Christ.

And more widely, in the community where we live (and we certainly do get known around here; a family with several young children of different races who walk miles and travel on local public transport do get noticed, and of course living on a compound brings its own ready-made community) our desire should be to make the most of each opportunity.

Yes, I may need to translate this into some specific, measurable goals and areas of accountability, but simply my greatest desire for 2016 is to know Christ more. 

Priorities: Unless the Lord builds the house...

Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for He grants sleep to those He loves. Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver if full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their neighbours in court. Psalm 127

When I consider priorities, I often return to this passage. It is so easy to work increasingly hard, staying up late, rising early, skipping meals, making unhealthy choices in order to reach our goals. Note that the passage does not say that hard work and striving for excellence are wrong - there are many places, particularly the book of Colossians, that talk about working at everything with our whole heart to bring glory to God. The point is not to suggest we all become lazy! But rather, it questions what our priorities are. Over these past two years, I often pray regarding these verses. When I am not homeschooling our growing family, I work as a medical academic, and over the past couple of years the work has been successful and productive. This leads to more work, teleconferences between time zones (often at conveniently late times when the boys are asleep!) and travel. All of these are stimulating and exhilarating, but I need to keep checking on my motives. For example:

Why do I aim for academic excellence? Is it to improve the health of HIV positive individuals across Africa, or is it for my own career stability and success? 

Why do I apply for the grants I apply for? Is it because I think this is a wise and best use of much time and effort, or is it because I am fearful for my academic standing if I do not continue to perform? 

When things go well, do I feel that it is through my own achievements, or do I praise God who guided and opened the opportunity?

When things go less well, do I blame my own shortcomings and feel I must work harder still (labouring in vain) or do I praise God who guides through both openings and closings of doors?

But what also struck me tonight as I read the Psalm was the juxtaposition of the two sections, which are often quoted separately by different groups of people to make different points. That is why I have quoted it in entirety without line breaks above. Immediately after the reminder that we must not labour in vain and that we must keep seeking and serving God at the absolute centre of all we do, is the well known passage about children being a blessing from God. Why are the two together in the Psalm?

I think these can be quite clearly linked when considering today's society. How often have you heard people lament that they cannot 'afford' children, yet live in a lovely suburb, own two cars and enjoy foreign holidays at least once a year? How often have you heard people (particularly women) state that they do not wish to start a family until they reach this or that milestone in their career? Or even sadder, how often do you read reports of the increasing number of women who leave starting a family for so long, that by the time they 'try', they are unable to conceive? We also know many families who state they cannot afford for a parent to stay home with the children (but are in fact paying a fortune in childcare and all that goes with it). I know many women who feel that going part time would be seen as a lesser commitment to their career, and seem to put the opinion of their bosses above the wellbeing of their families. I believe that as we prayerfully consider whether the Lord really does build the house, then we are liberated from selfish motives and misplaced ambitions, and able to make those choices which bring God glory. And children are indeed a blessing, raising children in a godly manner is of far greater value than my academic work, and the Psalm makes clear that God will bless these choices.

Entering 2016, a major prayer is that I ensure that the Lord builds the house. That I can use each God-given opportunity, but that through my work I am able to honour God. Through reaching marginalised and vulnerable populations, that I may demonstrate some of God's amazing justice to the oppressed as described beautifully in the book of Micah. That people know me first as a Christian, a godly wife and mother, and then after that as an academic (successful or otherwise!).

Happy New Year! Resolutions?

Happy New Year! I wonder how you celebrated? Did you make any resolutions?

Here in Africa, it seems very popular among churches to have an overnight celebration on New Year's Eve. Our church met from 9 pm until about 6 am. I confess, I left at 1 am, knowing it would not be a wise choice to begin the new year without sleep. All around, you could hear noisy praise and prayer meetings lasting throughout the night. What a contrast to what I would normally associate with Hogmanay! In my home village in Scotland, there would often be a party lasting until breakfast time, where everybody would bring an instrument or simply their voices, and we would play traditional songs and dance the old dances through the night, often out in the cold, frosty air; I loved these parties. There seemed to be a remnant of good, old-fashioned fun, without excess. In contrast to that, I remember one night when I went to Edinburgh with friends for the street party; that was quite a terrifying evening with large crowds of rowdy young teenagers and young adults, mostly under the influence of excessive alcohol (and probably more). I remember feeling cold, lost, alone and yes, quite frightened at times. Whilst some of the praise parties that go on over here may be loud and not always theologically precise, it is amazing to be part of a culture which places putting Christ first as a high priority. I enjoyed spending those hours reflecting on God's goodness and faithfulness over the past years, and committing the year ahead to Him.

People often talk about resolutions. I gave up on the idea of specific new year resolutions a long time ago; if something needs to be changed, then why wait until new year? However, I do find it profitable to spend some time reflecting on the overarching goals of the year ahead. What should be our priorities? 

A friend recommended a list of 70 resolutions, written in modern English but attributable to the great Puritan preacher, Jonathan Edwards. These were not so much New Year resolutions, but the standards by which he sought to live his life, and against which he continually measured his spiritual state. It's impressive! When I read through it, I feel quite challenged that I don't really think in such depth about all aspects of life.

But what does the Bible say about resolutions? There are so many exhortations and admonitions to live pure, holy, righteous lives characterised by love and acts of service underpinned by pure motives that I will not attempt to list them. But in one place the Apostle Paul specifically talks about his resolutions:

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2 

I suppose my goals as we move into 2016 could similarly be summarised. To quote Paul again,

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do... The big, obvious, public things. And the small, seemingly insignificant, hidden, private things. And not only what you do, but the thoughts you think, the motives that drive you, the desires of the heart. In all these things to give ultimate glory to God.

The ramifications of this will be different for each of us. But I  think that anybody who reads that verse prayerfully will be convicted. I wish to get to 31st December 2016 (if the Lord spares me) and be able to see ways in which God has been glorified in all areas of life. I won't have a checklist quite like that of Jonathan Edwards, although it might prove helpful to have a shorter, focussed list of areas to consider. But my prayer is that in ALL things I can resemble Christ more and more.

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Philippians 1:27 - the word 'whatever' refers to any kind of outward circumstance which may present itself. Some months and years are characterised by relative peace, prosperity, material blessing and strong relationships. Other times may seem marred by illness, discordant relationships, financial hardships and spiritual despondency. But WHATEVER happens, we are to live God honouring lives.

As you move into 2016, may your life resemble Christ more and more. May your words bring blessing and encouragement. May your home provide peace and security. May your choices be wise. May your Bible reading bring greater understanding of God's goodness. May your hope be fully in Him.

Celebrating Christ at Christmas

I can hear the cicadas and some early birdsong, which I expect will soon explode into a symphony, heralding a new morning. The air is cool and the house is peaceful. It is our first morning in a new home, and today is Christmas Eve.

Advent has been very different this year, refreshingly so. We've been busy, that is for sure! But the things that have occupied our time and the imaginations of my sons have been far removed from what we would more typically associate with 'Christmas' in the UK.

1) Last year I waxed lyrical about the Jesse Tree project. I am still amazed that we had not discovered it previously. As I considered different versions that could be used, I noted that some have strong roots in catholicism with different symbols drawing out some traditions rather than biblical principles. I wonder if some Bible believing Christians have just discarded the idea because of such roots, but then again, I had not even heard it being discussed. Interestingly, as a Christian home educator, we know of many families in different parts of the world who use a similar structure for Advent. If you haven't heard of it either, let me encourage you! The principle is described in Isaiah 11, where the 'root of Jesse' is prophesied. Every day, there is a Bible reading and a 'symbol' or 'emblem' of some kind to draw/ make/ colour. The stories build the picture of creation, fall and redemption as well as illustrating the key figures in the lineage of Christ. It is a wonderful overview Biblically and it has amazed me how well their young minds grasp these truths. For the 'symbols', what we have done so far is print a set, mount them on different colours of card, and for each day I have an envelope hung on a string. On the outside is the number of the day and the Bible passage, and inside there are the three pictures, each on a different colour of card (one for each boy). We read the passage, colour the picture. One is hung on our 'Jesse tree' - we have found the best branch we can in the park or out and about, and spray painted it gold or silver. The second is being glued onto a large timeline we have running across the wall (rolls of Ikea paper are made for timelines!) together with other related drawings and verse written out beautifully (reading, handwriting, copywork etc all come in here!). I can see how this project will develop and change as the boys grow and they increasingly add their own creativity.

I love the fact that it is simple, Biblical, flexible and keeps the whole family focussed on what Christmas means. There is plenty of room for colour and decoration, and it can bring out a lot of 'educational' things such as drawing, craft, reading, handwriting and so forth.

2) Church celebrations. This has been refreshing for us. We have been here three months now, and as we have become involved in some of the music and dancing at church, we have been able to build relationships. I think when people realise you are not just a visitor passing through, but actually here to stay and get involved, then they start to invest in you too. The boys have enjoyed this, although they were a little reluctant to join in at first. What I have loved is that the singing and dancing has sought to focus on telling the Christmas story and sought to honour God. Everybody has been welcome to join in, and they were able to find a task for everybody - some people sang more, others danced, my husband who doesn't really sing or dance much was given an important task as 'narrator' to explain the Biblical thread running through the story and so forth. It was delightful for me to see the boys dancing away with their new friends. I think what refreshed me here was that although the service on Sunday was to some extent a 'performance' or 'production', nobody was running round getting stressed about the quality or the sound or the set, or any of these things. Really it was kept simple and the desire of those leading was to honour God above all things. It may sound a subtle difference, but for me it was important. Many years ago, I used to play music with the group on a Sunday morning. I stopped doing it after a couple of occasions where there was great angst and raised voices due to a malfunctioning PA system or mixing desk (some kind of technical thing which might have meant the music sounded less 'professional', but which would not have stopped us being able to worship God!). I realised at that point that the 'performance' aspect was becoming too important, and that my role (saxophone) was not essential but rather just to embellish, and so I stopped. Interestingly, a few years later, in a different part of Africa, when there really were very few musicians, I did cautiously get involved again because I saw the need. My point is that I do have concerns at times with music and performance in churches - I think the Psalms make it clear that music, instruments and singing should be used, should be done well - 'Play it skillfully and shout for joy!', but should be done all and always for the glory of God. It is one of these areas where there may be a fine line - because the attitudes and motives of an individual heart are known only to God. I digress a little, but what has seemed lovely to me this advent is that it has all been God-centred.

3) That as Christians, we do have something to celebrate at Christmas! I have known very devout believers who have eschewed all Christian celebrations because many are based in pagan roots, because Christmas is not a 'biblical' feast, and because many things that take place do not honour God. Many of the leaders at the time of the Reformation took this view too. I can kind of see their point, but at the same time, I wonder if in some ways they have missed the point. I believe that what the world needs and yearns for at Christmas is something different. People do not come to church for a watered down and mediocre version of what is taking place outside (in terms of music, decorations, entertainment, food and so forth). I think people yearn for something deeper, some peaceful reflection, some genuine hope. Christmas is a time when those who do not know Christ might well come to church, and I think we do a great disservice when we seek to become too like the world in order to reach them. And for Christians, we should be celebrating the birth (and life, death and resurrection) of Christ daily! That can become a cliche - and that is why I think it is great to take the period of Advent and the Christmas activities to really focus again. This can be particularly important for children who love family traditions and the build up of anticipation. I think the key thing is, what do the children anticipate? Is it gifts and food? If so, they will ultimately be disappointed. Is it time with family and friends? That too, does not fully satisfy, although it is a good thing. As parents we need to pray for wisdom as we enjoy the good things that God has blessed us with, without seeing them as an end in themselves.

4) Complete lack of materialism. We have not heard any comments from the children along the lines of what they might get as a Christmas present. They know there will be some small gifts, but that hasn't really been a priority or concern to them. We have not heard any of their friends mention shopping or presents, and in church we haven't heard it either. The larger shops have had a bit of tinsel up, and maybe one or two aisles that are remotely 'Christmassy' in some ways, but there hasn't been the constant bombardment of advertising, Christmas jingles, conversations about shopping, gifts, money and so forth. I think as homeschooling parents, it is easier to shield our children from this, even back in the UK, and to focus on the more important things. But here, it almost hasn't felt like there has been much to shield them from. The children have some friends who have no shoes. Another friend mentioned how his mum made great chapatis (if you know my boys, you will realise that the street chapati has become a friend to them!). However they realised that what he was saying was that what he would eat for his evening (often only) meal was something we would buy as a snack without a second thought. None of these things affect the friendships, and we don't spend ages reminding the boys that they are privileged to have a balanced diet of three meals a day, or shoes on their feet; we don't need to because they can see for themselves. And I think it is helpful for them to realise the blessings they have - that material things are just 'things', but they are God-given blessings we should not take for granted.

It is still dark, the birdsong is escalating and I can hear a chorus of The First Noel coming out from the boys' bedroom. Christmas Eve is going to consist of gardening - we moved yesterday, but grew some plants from seed on the balcony of our apartment, which are ready to plant. We have work to do on our Jesse tree timeline. And there is a carol service in the cathedral at 5pm. And yes, there may be some presents too - my grandmother was Polish, and in many European countries the celebrations take place on Christmas Eve not Christmas Day. We remember her, and the family traditions, by opening one present each on Christmas Eve.

Happy Christmas! 

I wonder how you will celebrate this year?

Do you have any family traditions which help you focus on the things that really matter?

Sonlight: Week 12 in our new home

We started to use Sonlight 12 weeks ago, just after moving to east Africa. It was a time of much change in our lives - moving to a new culture, new climate, adapting to urban life here, new forms of transport, new languages heard, new foods, new friends, almost everything different. The thing that has remained stable has been our home life. Working in medical research and medical education, we are able to both work part-time and have flexibility regarding some tasks which can be done from home (indeed, often done better from home in a quiet evening with no interruptions). One of us is always home with the children, much as when we were in the UK. This provides stability, and using the curriculum provides structure. I wrote previously about how we had found the transition, and it seemed a good time for an update.

The first thing to say is that we aren't ending term! We've all enjoyed it so much that we see no need to stop for a holiday. Charlotte Mason, an educationalist whose philosophy has certainly influenced the Sonlight team (although purists would argue it does not strictly adhere to her principles!) said, 'Education is an atmosphere, education is a discipline, education is a life'. That being reflected in our family, we are not going to take a break from the atmosphere of our home, from consistent Biblical discipline and from the continual dialogue and experience that develops as we live our lives! Also, the boys love the books, the activities and the routine. By proposing a 'Christmas holiday', it would almost imply that there was something we needed to take a break or a rest from.

However, the routine will change a little. Our regular home school sports is being replaced by a daily two hour swimming lesson in the middle of the day, in a place 10 Km from here (requiring two minibuses or quite a lot of walking). This is a great opportunity, but might well mean we take slightly longer over the curriculum. That is just fine! I think it is important to remember that any curriculum is simply a tool we use to enhance our home education experience, rather than a master to whom we must slavishly submit. Flexibility is key.

Highlights so far have been:

1) I think the best thing of all has been my middle son (recently turned six) suddenly realising that he could read, and that this was exciting! Previously he had objected, often with tears and great angst, and yet suddenly, perhaps with the start of something new, perhaps with the beautifully designed, 'I can read it' series which enables a simple story to be told with very few words, perhaps simply as a matter of developing maturity, he just embraced the concept. He is now half way through the second book, and also takes time to read (or try to read) just about anything he can get his hands on.

2) Similarly, although perhaps slightly less dramatically and with fewer whoops of delight, my eldest son (also aged six) has been progressing rapidly through the 'Grade 1' readers (the aim is to start him on the Grade 2 ones after Christmas). He has also been reading more and more independently and is starting to read stories out loud to our three year old. The progress seems rapid - its a bit like when they learn to speak, when they go from a few words to sentences, paragraphs and perfect use of grammar.

3) Both of the older two are enjoying writing and spend time trying to write their own sentences (for example, writing captions on drawings). The younger one is making a gentle start with Handwriting Without Tears - not following any real structure, just learning little by little and following his own desire to learn.

4) The science forms a nice foundation. We had covered many of the principles and have a range of other books that complement the Sonlight resources. They are all starting to think a bit more scientifically, forming a 'hypothesis' and learning to develop experiments to test this. I find this exciting because at that age (and indeed even through secondary school), I didn't really understand the concept of hypothesis-driven research; I simply memorised the facts. Things were as they were. I had not learned to question and to test. They seem to have grasped this well, and as a scientist, this excites me!

5) They also love maths. My second son in particular asks for extra maths, and sometimes wants to start the day with maths. We are using Singapore Maths, and mainly what we are doing at the moment is addition and subtraction. We build on this using various manipulatives - for example, we collect the bottle lids from the sodas we occasionally drink and invent addition and subtraction games we can play, as well as categorisation tasks. Also, in the market, the bartering we do here helps with some of the concepts - 'If she is selling one pile of tomatoes for 2000 shillings, and we get two piles for 3000 shillings, how much have we saved?' And from that also, some economics. 'We have 500 shillings. You can choose to spend it on the minibus fee, or we can walk home and spend it on a chapati.' You can guess what the choice invariably is there! I think with maths, quite a few home schooling parents have a bit of a mental block towards it, and we need to take great care not to let our own attitude influence the children. For example, if we often say it is 'hard', or unpleasant or leave it until last every day, then they will be influenced by that. I have been delighted by the way they enjoy it, and particularly that moment of revelation when a concept makes sense.

6) Plenty of time for electives, which can vary to suit our setting. Some things will be the same as in the UK. Cooking (although with some different ingredients and different challenges), drawing, music and singing (again this has the added flavour of learning local songs and learning how to dance!), exploring the nature that surrounds us, swimming and climbing trees, walking and talking about all we see and so forth.

7) That that books have been chosen. The Sonlight team apply stringent criteria to select the books used in their materials. We have really enjoyed the quality of the stories, and that they teach many other things as well as literature. We are using Ergermeier's Bible Story book which we had not come across previously. I am slightly surprised I had not heard of it, given the quality. It tells the stories beautifully, the illustrations are helpful and not distracting, and there a some nice questions at the back to test their comprehension. Similarly, 'I heard good news today' tells great stories of missionaries throughout the ages (I must comment there are a few grammatical/ typographical errors in this, about which I have written to the Sonlight team, but notwithstanding these, it is a very encouraging and inspiring book). I could go on... I think we always need to remember not to restrict ourselves to these books only, but to continue to enjoy other materials.

8) The other books that we continue to draw on frequently are the biographies by Little Lights and Lightkeepers. I continue to receive encouragement as I read these stories, and my prayer is that the children grow with the worldview that being a Christian is not always easy, and might even lead to ultimate sacrifice, but that it is the most important way to live. By exposing them to a wide range of examples and stories I believe they are developing that mindset too.

So, as we reach the end of our third month in our new environment, I feel encouraged. Yes, there  are still challenges - as any family will attest to. There are days when discipline is a challenge, and it can seem to take us many hours to get through the materials because of continual interruptions to deal with an issue in one or other child. I feel tempted to frustration at these times, but need to remember that this is also an intrinsic part of education, and perhaps even the more important part. It would be better to deal with all the heart issues as they arise than to complete all the scheduled activities swiftly! (I need to remind myself of that).

Book Review: Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung

Just Do Something: A liberating approach to finding God's will 

OR

How to make a decision without dreams, visions, fleeces, impressions, open doors, random Bible verses, casting lots, liver shivers, writing in the sky etc.

I read this book not because I was seeking God's guidance about any particular decisions, nor because I felt particularly 'led' to read it, nor because I was recommended it, but rather because my husband was currently reading it, found it sensible and pragmatic, and because I was captured by the subtitle!

The testimonials by pastors and Bible scholars are impressive. The book is heralded as being an essential 'go to' book for young people seeking answers to the big questions such as, 'What does God want me to do with my life?'

I found it cut to the chase. I have known many Christians almost paralysed through fear of 'missing God's will', as though this is some elusive quest where mistakes carry high penalties. I've always felt a uncomfortable with this, as it is contrary to the nature of God. Why would a good and loving God who cares about us with father-like love play such games with us? It doesn't make sense. Alongside this, some Christians who are paralysed into inactivity over-spiritualise decisions. 'I'm waiting for peace about the decision', or 'I'm waiting for a clear calling'.

DeYoung writes in a refreshing manner (some quotes from this, and other books, are here). He makes it quite clear that the God who created heaven and earth is quite capable of using extra-ordinary means to speak to His children. He cites the Biblical examples where dreams, visions, fleeces, writing on the wall, a talking Donkey, visits from angels and other supernatural means were used to communicate direction. However he also makes clear that this is far from the norm, and was far from the norm even in Bible times. Secondly, he does not dismiss praying about decisions, asking God to give us wisdom and help in making the best decisions. He does not dismiss seeking Godly counsel (indeed recommends this, and quotes several passages of scripture to underline this point). But the point he makes is that some decisions can be made simply as decisions.

His style can be shocking at times. He makes bold statements including, 'God does not care where you study or what career you choose'. He then qualifies this by explaining that there is not a single best 'perfect will of God' for your life, and that we need to take care not to treat non-moral decisions in an over-spiritual manner. Sometimes the choices can be made by weighing up the options, considering the pros and cons of them all, and making a logical and rational decision. If the decision does not lead you into sin, it is likely to be an opportunity that can be used by God.

There was an interesting overlap with the book I recently discussed on the error of 'self-esteem' teaching. In our current generation, we are encouraged to look for perfect fulfilment, and it is instilled in us that 'we deserve it'. DeYoung writes, 'my peers and I were among the first ones to experience grande inflation, where we got A's for excavating our feelings and 'doing our best' at calculus. We were among the first to be programmed for self-esteem, as we learned that having a pulse made us wonderfully special. For as long as we can remember, we've been destined for superstardom.... We've been stuffed full of praise for mediocrity and had our foibles diagnosed away with hyphenated jargon and pop psychology.' He points out that this attitude brings a sense of 'entitlement' which is almost certain to be disappointed. By contrast, he describes he grandfathers, both God-fearing men who had lived through some difficult times. In that generation (and indeed as I reflect on this, for my grandparents too, and for many people who live here in East Africa), life was more about providing for the essentials in life. Providing for one's family, with whichever job was available to be able to do so. Being involved in the day-to-day activities of a community. Raising and educating the children. Yes, some people at this time would have followed a vocation or calling, but often people were too busy getting on with life, discharging their responsibilities in a God-honouring way, to spend much time considering whether or not they were 'fulfilled'. I remember something similar when I asked my mother-in-law whether she had had a happy marriage. She looked at me as though I had asked the most peculiar question. You see, to her, marriage was about commitment through thick and thin, about providing for a large family on a meagre income, and about seeking to honour God in all things. Happiness, or lack of, simply did not seem to be a question that made sense.

(I read an insightful blog post that relates to this here. Protecting our children from perceived failure by micromanaging their lives is only set to exacerbate this anxiety in decision making, and perhaps particularly as home educating families we must take great care not to fall into this trap, but rather to prepare our children for life in the 'real world' - which is actually one of the great potential benefits of homeschooling)

DeYoung also tackles marriage. He is pragmatic on this. If you get on well, you are both Christians (and he expands a bit on this, to discuss ideologies which may be incompatible), then maybe you should just get on and get married. Years ago, people had much smaller social circles, and it would be likely you would marry somebody you knew through church or youth group, or somebody you had grown up alongside. Now we have such wide social circles and so much social mobility, that we can become paralysed through fear of missing 'the one'. When I read about Biblical marriage, I do not see descriptions of wild passion (although for sure, Song of Songs comes close!), or seeking a 'soul mate'. The Bible does not say that a marriage partner makes a person 'complete'. There are many errors in thinking in the world around us which have infiltrated the church and make young Christians make too much of decision making.

The book concludes with 8 short studies which could be undertaken as individuals or groups. I have no doubt that at some point in the future I will work through these with a younger Christian who is seeking to find 'God's will' for their lives.

The book is relatively short and easy to read. The style is challenging (although I do not find it offensive in any way). He does not offer worldly pragmatism, but correctly handles Scripture throughout. Indeed he provides a very helpful summary of the instances where the Bible refers to 'God's will for you', and this is invariably with regard to matters of godly living, rather than specific directional instructions. He points out that if we are living close to God, being obedient in the areas where we have been given specific instructions, then when the time comes for us to make choices, these should more naturally follow.

This is certainly one to keep to hand, to buy several copies of, and to refer to often.

Book Review: The Big Ego Trip by Glynn Harrison

I met Glynn Harrison at a recent Christian Medical Fellowship conference in the UK. He is a psychiatrist with a strong biblical worldview and the ability to speak clearly into some of the more challenging issues facing today's society. Having heard him speak, I was keen to read his book entitled, 'The Big Ego Trip', subtitle, 'Finding true significance in a culture of self-esteem'.

In the first section of the book, he moves quickly through the the philosophical and psychoanalytical work that led to the concept of 'self-esteem', making the key findings of these works accessible to those who would not be inclined to read the full texts. He rapidly touches upon a key limitation in much of this work: Association does not mean the same as causation. Just because something is observed, it does not mean that one caused the other. For example, I may sit at my desk to work. I might only work at my desk, and only sit at my desk when working. The two could be very strongly correlated, but one could not jump from there to suggest that it is my desk that makes me work. It sounds quite obvious when stated like that, but sadly throughout science, it is a common error to make. In the more quantifiable sciences (biochemistry, pharmacology etc), researchers are often keen to point out the limitations and the difficulties in unravelling causation. In epidemiology, we are asked to consider the 'Bradford Hill criteria' for causation. Yet somehow in the 'softer' disciplines of sociology and psychology, it seems a major error has been made here.

However, as Harrison points out, the emerging data on self-esteem meshed perfectly with societo-cultural changes in the 1960s and 70s and became mainstream thought. Acting on somewhat flawed and limited evidence, leaders in education, in the USA and then later in the UK, decided to build 'self-esteem' into the curriculum. Some shrewd critics have pointed out that if there were so little and such limited evidence evidence available for a drug treatment, there is now way it would ever be marketed! However, this 'new thinking' was rolled out and has become entrenched into mainstream society.

Some of the fruit (or fruitlessness) of this is exposed. For example, how can children be widely taught to believe that they are 'special' or 'above average'? Doesn't the very term 'average' imply a middle point? And also, although surveys show that teenagers today have higher belief in themselves and higher expectations of life, they also show a higher sense of disappointment and lower satisfaction with life. Does that not naturally follow, since such boosted expectations are surely only going to lead to disappointment. As a medical educator, I have also been witness to the rising trend amongst students to complain against or appeal against their marks, sometimes in a somewhat aggressive manner, as though a distinction or top grade is somehow their right. Other examples are given in the book.

Throughout the first part is woven the thread of thought: What is life all about? Why I am here? What is it for? What is my place in society? How do I contribute to the greater good? And it is pointed out that there has been a real cultural shift here - again longitudinal data is quoted to clearly show this. But of equal concern is the way this thinking has infiltrated the church. Around the 1970s, there was a real shift in the words of popular Christian songs - the emphasis is increasingly on 'me', on my response, my worship, my adoration, my heart. Songs that speak of sacrifice and humility are less popular. The concept of suffering in this world is also going out of fashion, and there is a rise in prosperity teaching (you can have it all, and you can have it now).

So the second part of the book seeks to bring truth into the situation. The correct Biblical stance is outlined. Yes, we are made in the image of God (what could be greater?) with the hope of heaven (again, an amazing privilege). There is that part of us which is unique, pure, noble and made for higher things than this. But at the same time, as individuals we have fallen, we have sinned, we lack hope and we need redemption. The gospel is clearly and appropriately presented.

As a psychiatrist, Harrison daily deals with broken, suffering people. He does not at any time dismiss the devastating impact of abusive relationships and traumatic situations. However, he provides an approach to begin to deal with these (whilst acknowledging that such change may be a lifetime task). He points out, time and time again, that we are part of something bigger. And that either skill or mistakes in one area of our life does not define the whole of our being. For example, I could be a terrible doctor, and excellent mother and a mediocre friend. So what does that make me? Terrible? Excellent? Mediocre? None of the above?

One quote study that caught my interest was where students were randomised into two groups and given the same task. One group was praised for the output (ie that is a beautiful picture, you must be a gifted artist), and the second was praised for the effort (I really like the way you have given attention to detail here or here). The students were then given a choice for their next task - either something they knew they could accomplish with ease and do 'well', or something which would be more of a challenge. Interestingly, the students who had been praised for output went for the safe option, whereas those who were praised for the process aimed higher and were willing to stretch themselves, not being afraid of failure. This made a lot of sense having considered the data presented, and will influence the way I encourage my boys.

I am glad I read this book. I had been increasingly concerned about some 'modern' approaches, such as the 'positive' parenting which praises good things and ignores the bad. I've been concerned about the boosted (often inappropriately so!) self-belief of young people, and I have also been aware of a drift in our understanding of suffering and sin in this world.

This is a refreshing read - it draws on a wealth of academic work in a fully accessible way, and speaks as a voice of Biblical reason into our current generation.