Preparing for Advent

The year has absolutely flown by, and once more we are approaching Advent. I love Advent. I love taking the time to reflect on just how amazing Christ's incarnation was. I find having a very intentional approach to be a powerful antidote to all the distractions that different cultures may offer at this time of year. And I love watching how my childrens' understanding of what God planned since the beginning unfolded increases year on year.

This will be our fourth year of using a Jesse tree project - I've written about our experiences here, here and here. Each year, we add something. Last year, I wanted to add something that helped the boys focus on godly character, and chose the area of kindness. I have seen a few websites which list 'kindness tasks' to help a child take the focus of themselves during advent, but many of the tasks were not possible or applicable to us living in East Africa. So, I amended the list to suit our needs. I put one of these tasks into each of the Jesse tree envelopes and then gave a week of 'grace' for the task to be completed (it seemed a little contrived to insist that it was completed that same day - I wanted to encourage thoughtfulness). We had a checklist where each boy had a column and we could tick off when the task was achieved. Here is our list in case you would like to try something similar.

1.       Write a letter

2.       Offer to help with something when it is not your turn

3.       Say something encouraging to one of your siblings

4.       Read a story to one (or more) of your siblings

5.       Make a card for somebody

6.       Bake somebody a cake

7.       Help one of your brothers tidy his box

8.       Make a thank-you card for Irene (sports) or Sara (choir)

9.       Find a toy you no longer use to give to somebody

10.   Help tidy the garden

11.   Set the table without being asked

12.   Draw a picture for somebody back home

13.   Tell somebody how much you love them

14.   Write a note for one of your brothers, saying kind things

15.   Teach somebody something

16.   Help to cook dinner

17.   Invite some friends round to sing carols

18.   Skype somebody you have not spoken to for a while

19.   Ask somebody how they are

20.   Ask how you can help

21.   Tidy the bookshelves in the play corner

22.   Bake something using a recipe you have not made before

23.   Share something with somebody

24.   Let one of your brothers have first choice

This year, I also want to focus on character, and will include the kindness tasks. Other visual things we have done at times are 'fruit of the Spirit' trees - a large picture of a tree with nine branches, each representing the fruit of the Spirit. Each child is given a colour, and when they have displayed one of the fruit, they are allowed to draw their fruit on the right branch. It is a useful way of getting the children to reflect on their actions and consequences.

I am also quite challenged by the verse, 'Let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds' - the children do not always consider others, and how they can be encouraging. So I may try and think of some tasks that encompass this area.

I hope to have a little time over the weekend to plan more. I wonder what your plans for Advent are, and what activities you incorporate to build family traditions and have a household that focusses fully on Christ at Christmas?

Quiet thankfulness

Yesterday my children were eating lunch on a 'raft' they had built out of fallen branches from the palm trees. It was warm, but pleasant and we enjoyed the sound of birdsong and counting the different types of beautifully coloured butterfly we could see. It was one of those moments that you wish you could freeze in time and keep forever.

I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for so many things. Nine years ago, we were grieving for our firstborn, and in the strange situation of being parents, but having no living children. I remember the days feeling long, feeling lonely, feeling cold. Fast forward to today, and I am surrounded by four lively children who are so full of curiosity and enthusiasm, continually learning and exploring new things. I thank God so much for these blessings; I often can barely believe I have been given such privilege and responsibility as to raise them.

Lately, I have thought about grief - that it is a process, but one which has no real end. The sorrow of our daughter's death remains, along with the pain of knowing there is so much pain and wrongdoing in this world. But I wonder, having tasted that deep sorrow, whether it does not mean that moments of joy are all the greater. I remember that feeling of having lost everything. I know that I cannot take these moments and these days for granted.

Yesterday, I felt it was the first time in several weeks that I actually stopped and seized hold of a beautiful moment. So often, my mind has been working through checklists and tasks even as I have been 'relaxing'. In the evenings, if not occupied with church activities or academic work, I have often been considering different teaching methods and reviewing our home education materials to ensure we are providing each child with the best opportunities to build upon their unique learning style. There has always been a list of tasks to work through. Probably there always will be.

But yesterday I felt a calm peace descending as the Lord gently reminded me of His sovereignty. There will be unexpected surprises and disappointments in life, and there will be times of trial and sorrow. There will be days of peace and stability, but also times of disquiet and turmoil. I cannot control these things, but He knows each of these days before it comes. Sometimes when I look at my young children, I find myself wondering what kind of world they will be adults in, what kind of trials and pressures they may face; but my job is not to worry about that - but rather to provide them with a solid foundation and worldview, to pray for them diligently and to teach them to critically appraise situations and arguments to reach a rational judgement.

I was thankful to be reminded of all that I have been blessed with, and to be reminded to open my eyes to the beauty and blessings that surround me.

I have not written much lately - there has not been much free time to write and reflect. The months seem to be passing quickly, and the children seem to be changing rapidly (in many good ways). I am reminded of the quote that 'the days are long but the years are short', and am thankful for the reminder to stop and be thankful for these busy days surrounded by noise, activity and laughter.

Highlights of the homeschooling year

I haven't written for a couple of weeks. A few friends in different places have been facing trials - bereavement and serious illness. I've been feeling far from home, wishing I could be closer to my friends and really stand with them, but at the same time am amazed at how our good and loving God provides so abundantly. I have been challenged by the contrast between those who 'do not grieve as those who have no hope' and those who have no hope whatsoever. It truly is the contrast between life and death, light and darkness, hope and hopelessness. Everything else seems trivial in comparison.

But of course, meanwhile time has been passing. We will finish our academic year in two weeks time, and I was excited to place the order for next year's materials. I need to write reports on the boys (I do this lightheartedly, but I find it a helpful exercise to stop and reflect on their development, on their strengths and weaknesses, on major achievements and accomplishments, and on areas which are more challenging and perhaps need a slightly different approach. As a Christian homeschooling parent, it is good to be able to include areas like spiritual growth and character formation alongside the more traditional subjects).

Last night I was reading a couple of old blog posts from homeeducationnovice.com. I looked back with a smile to the days when I had two toddlers and a baby, and when we spent many many hours walking in parks and learning about nature. At the time, it felt that we would be in that season of life forever, but as I read some of the posts, it seemed a long, long time ago. I read about some challenges I faced, and again, these seemed like distant memories, and I had to think, 'Oh yes, I do remember feeling that way'. So often, we are kept fully occupied dealing with the needs of each day, and that is not a bad thing. But I notice that I can forget to celebrate milestones and achievements, or simply to reflect on the things which make the homeschooling lifestyle so rewarding.

1) Reading. We have always spent hours every day reading aloud, and that was a major driver in us choosing a literature based curriculum. This continues to be highly enjoyable, but what has really taken off this year is the ability of my older boys (aged seven) to read independently. It is not just that they can read, but that they love to read, and can often be found hiding in a quiet corner with their noses in books. My older boy is forever surprising me with facts which he has read somewhere (this also warns me of the importance of only having things I am happy for them to read lying around! Thankfully we have been very intentional about our book collection). Another advantage of being able to read well is that they can read aloud to the younger children, and that brings a wonderful shared family time (and I can do something like cook dinner whilst this is going on).

2) Logical thought. Another major reason we chose to home educate was that we wanted our children to be able to critically appraise situations or evidence, and to reach a logical, balanced conclusion. This was something I felt was lacking in my own education, and seems to be even more lacking in mainstream UK education these days (although granted, there may be exceptions). I did not want them simply to be spoonfed and be able to regurgitate facts, but to be able to think. The balance of 'living books' chosen by Sonlight really helps foster this critical thinking, and the Science packages are great in that they encourage the children to form a hypothesis, then design experiments with a specific aim and method. I often find them puzzling things out in the garden or with their lego (or other toys), trying to design and work things out. I have really enjoyed watching this develop.

3) Vocal expression. I suppose this links with both language arts skills and logical thought, but I am impressed with the way my boys can explain what they like or want (or what they dislike) and explain why. My husband and I are never satisfied with 'Because I don't want to', or 'Because I don't like it' - we get them to explain why. It is just a gentle questioning that goes alongside every day life, and would not obviously seem to be an educational tool, but it helps them consider how to order their thoughts and make a compelling case for what they are saying. I like that as homeschooling parents we are always around our children, and so can gently reinforce lessons from earlier in the day or week, and we can consider practical illustrations which might complement an area they are struggling to comprehend. We sometimes plan 'stealth attacks' as described by the Brave Writer author. So, whilst we don't set homework, we don't have a clear demarcation between 'school time' and 'life time'. I love that.

4) Creativity. I have always enjoyed the way the children will act out stories they have listened to. It has often surprised me just how much they have taken in. As they get older, some of these games get more prolonged and elaborate. We are not quite a screen-free home - we occasionally take the children into the study and watch a programme (usually a documentary, rarely a film) on the computer, but this is not even a weekly activity. We see other children of similar ages who prefer to spend long periods of time on tablets and screens, and indeed whose parents think life and particularly travel would be impossible without these. I find that a little sad because there is so much more!

5) Freedom. Perhaps relating to the point above, I love that my boys have plenty of time to play, to create, to imagine, to be children. They are not ferried to endless extracurricular activities, nor are they stimulated with excessive screen time and 'entertainment'. This gives them time to play, learn and explore together. Through playing together, there are of course times when disagreements and squabbles arise; they need guidance in how to navigate these, and each is an opportunity to remind them of their memory verses and Biblical principles regarding how we should treat one another. It is easy to forget what an important aspect of education this is.

These are simply five areas where I rejoice in how homeschooling enables my children to develop not only academically, but more importantly, into people who can think logically, can apply truth into situations and can develop creative solutions to problems. What areas have been the highlights for you?

Homeschooling on the Challenging Days

There are days when homeschooling feels like a dream come true. The children are happy and engaged, they are building on their strengths and working on their weaknesses and we have the right amount of outside activities such as sports and music. The birdsong is beautiful, mornings outside are peaceful and life feels good. If you look through my photo albums, these are the type of photos you might see.

But there is the other side. There are days when nobody really seems to want to do anything. Rather than smoothly being able to teach three different levels at some subjects, one or other child will be complaining and requiring (demanding?) more attention, with the result that the others feel neglected and start to act up too. Sometimes then I decide to cut our losses and get out one of their favourite games which has some educational benefit - lego, building blocks, a trainset, that type of thing - but even then, on these types of days, they might not even engage with that. Often then, I end up taking them all out for a walk - it doesn't matter where we are going, we just walk and walk until they start to relax (usually at about 4 Km). It is as though they just have a restlessness for no particularly good reason. (Or on reflection, there is often a good reason - perhaps tiredness, mild illness, a chance in circumstances such as one parent being away, being too hot - sometimes these can be easily recognised and remedied, but at other times less so).

Hardest of all for me are the days where the attitudes are wrong. I can understand a child who is a bit clingy and tearful through illness or fatigue, but there are days when there is a high level of wilful disobedience and attitude issues are very clear. On those days, it does not seem right to get out a favourite game or change pace to break things up - because somehow then I might be rewarding the behaviour I am seeking to correct. These are the times when it is necessary to stop, to talk to the child and to show them clearly and specifically where they need correction. We start every day with the Bible and increasingly are moving beyond simple knowledge of Bible stories through to application to day to day life - and so often there is a memory verse or a recent discussion  to draw from. But it takes time. It is not always straightforward, and isn't quite as black and white as, 'The Bible says this, and therefore you should think, feel and act like that...' It can be difficult as an adult to remember what a six year old or a seven year old should know; at times they surprise me with their depth and understanding, and at other times I find myself having to remember that they are just young children. Sometimes we can spend a significant proportion of a day dealing with attitude. And on those days, I sometimes find myself wondering whether we are even doing the right thing in homeschooling them!

I was therefore encouraged by a series of blog posts from the Sonlight team this week, in particular this one about attitude. It helpfully reminded me of something that I know, but need encouragement in: that these days are among the most important in homeschooling and give us a wonderful and unique opportunity to teach our children the things that matter most (far more than maths or language arts or electives!) In mainstream school, our children would have exactly the same sinful hearts and character flaws - I think one major difference is that children learn quickly how to externally conform or to hide how they are feeling. And in truth, it is a blessing that one of my sons simply cannot hide his defiance from his face: it is instantly recognisable. It is a good thing that they giggle when they are being naughty because I am immediately alerted to the problem. I should be thankful for this - but there are days when I wish they would simply sit nicely, listen well and do the things I want them to do!

I have also felt quite alone in this. There are some wonderful Christian blogs I love to read - you probably have your own encouraging reading list. But somehow some of them have inadvertently discouraged me, but suggesting that if my children do not obey FIRST time EVERY time, that I have clearly failed in my role as a parent. There are people who will be quick to give advice, and tell me that if I simply do X, Y and Z, then everything will be fine. Often there is also what seems to be a subtle accusation (perhaps I am being sensitive) that I am not working hard enough or being creative enough or somehow not sacrificial enough. And that is hard! I know I am not perfect, but there are many hours of prayer, preparation, soul-searching, reflection and the actual day-to-day teaching and looking after them that go into it all. It is more tiring and takes more of myself than working 13 hour night shifts dealing with medical emergencies!

However, I also have some good friends who share their experiences about how they deal with these challenges - here I am thankful for networks and Facebook groups, since whilst I am far from many of my friends, I can still communicate with them often (and to be honest, sometimes a frank online discussion in a hidden group can be more focused than trying to snatch a conversation face to face with a large number of young children running around!) The kinds of suggestions they have made include:

1) Make sure there are no obvious problems (illness, hunger, tiredness) - and if possible fix. I have discovered that for one of my children, a mid-morning snack works wonders
2) Jumble up the order of the lessons and the order of your day
3) Take a field trip or focus on electives (art, music, experiments, cooking, nature) instead of whatever might be in the timetable for that day
4) Make sitting down time short, and intersperse plenty of physical activity
5) Press the 'reset button' - somehow!
6) Use a 'stealth attack' - don't let them know they are learning
7) Check your own attitude - and make sure you are not exasperating them by unrealistic expectations
8) Remember the priorities - that taking the time to correct poor attitude is really worthwhile
9) Top up on coffee - my suggestion, but on these days I often realise I have not eaten nor drunk enough
10) Should probably be #1: Pray. Pray for strength and for wisdom. Pray that you do not react in anger or frustration, but rather with firm gentleness. Pray that you don't get into a vicious spiral of negative attitudes
11) Remember that this season of life is short even when the days feel so very long. Remember that the opportunity to speak truth into their lives and to discipline and correct on a daily basis will not last forever. And take encouragement from those who are further down the road, such as this blog post

I have found this week difficult at times. My husband is overseas and the boys have been restless. However, I am reminded of the important work we are doing as we seek to lay a foundation in their lives. I am reminded that it is often the days which are most difficult which might present the greatest opportunities to show the children the truths which matter most.

How do you respond on the more challenging days?

Sonlight: Review of Year 1/ Planning of Year 2

We home educate our children using the Sonlight curriculum (plus various other bits and pieces and a whole lot of freedom to play and explore). Whilst it was a curriculum we had seen others using, and had seen very positive results from (in terms particularly of character and critical thinking over and above any academic, musical or sporting achievement), we only started to use it in September when we moved back to East Africa. Within a week we were captivated. Within a few months we were settling into a nice pattern. Now, we are approaching the end of the first year, and I am preparing my order for the next batch of materials. It seems a good time for a quick subject-by-subject review, considering what we loved and want more of, and what (if anything) we would do less of.

1) Read alouds. Sonlight bases a huge amount of learning on books that are read aloud together as a family. These tend to be what are termed 'living books', whereby the characters live in a particular place and time or go through a set of circumstances from which we can all learn a lot. An example was 'Twenty and Ten', a story of children who helped protect a group of Jewish children from the Nazis. It brought up many interesting concepts for the children, but in an accessible way. One question is how far you want to take these! We ended up reading the biography of Maria Ann Hirschman, which although not typically a children's biography, really illustrated some particular points - for example that any one of us could be drawn into an evil ideology through our exposure, education and peer interactions, and that the gospel brings hope and forgiveness for all. Whilst I know some people have complained about the amount of reading aloud that Sonlight brings, we have actually wanted to add more, but we appreciate the freedom of being able to choose our add ons. Often I choose something which relates to a question which has come up in conversation, or something which we have to hand that builds on what we have covered in Sonlight. We often add in biographies. I'm going to do this a little more pro-actively this year, by looking ahead to see if there are any that complement the topics covered in Level B. It might be easier for us to add in extra read-alouds as we have only been using one level of Sonlight (level A) - it might be more challenging for parents who are teaching multiple levels at once! There are a few changes to Level A this time round, and so I've ordered in the books that I like the look of that we did not have the chance to read this year. The only one I really haven't liked was Beezus and Ramona; it seemed to glory in dreadful behaviour and I couldn't quite work out why it was there!

2) Readers. These really have been amazing. My middle son, as I have described, did not easily take to reading, but the 'I can read it' series transformed that. I think it was the use of rhyming words and a bit of humour (he particularly liked 'Pat is fat' on the first week!). Currently he is on 'Green eggs and ham', one of the Dr Seuss books, and I have never heard it read with such enthusiastic expression. I can hardly believe how well he is doing. My elder son (also aged six) can now read fluently, and can happily read stories to the younger siblings. This is very useful, as I can then focus with middle son on the things he finds a little more tricky.

3) History, geography and world cultures. This really is the cornerstone of Sonlight, and we use the materials as well as adding on whenever we have friends who are missionaries in different places, or when we get a newsletter or something. It's great! Sonlight is aimed at international/ missionary families (although is also equally good for those who stay in one place!) and my boys worked out that they have friends from 19 countries. So the world cultures is really relevant to their lives, and they have the hunger to learn. We really liked I Heard Good News Today, but got a bit irritated (I did anyway!) but some of the typos. I notice that it is not in Level A any more, but another mission-related book has been put in. So as we don't miss out, I've ordered that in too, just for enjoyment!

4) Bible. Maybe this should have been first, since we start and end every day with Bible and prayer. Biblical worldview is interwoven through Sonlight. We've been using Ergermeier's storybook Bible, which is well written and beautifully illustrated. There are questions at the back for each story, but I find the questions a bit basic, and prefer to use our own system. 'What does this story tell you about God?'. 'What does this story teach you about yourself?' 'What does this story teach us about how we should live?' - and from that move into a time of prayer. One of the Grade 2 readers was 'The Beginners' Bible', and so my eldest read the full storybook Bible and did quite a lot of copywork and creative expression based on the stories. There are also memory verses each week, and an accompanying CD. Sometimes we write our own songs too. They certainly have excellent Bible knowledge and Scripture memory, and have astonished some of the young adults who come to our home for Bible study. But my biggest prayer is that they truly know Christ and that their lives are transformed.

5) Language arts. This was a term I had not come across before, but basically incorporates grammar, spelling, phonics and creative writing. I particularly like the way the children are encouraged to use their imaginations, to express themselves, and to use language well. It builds up in a cyclical or spiral way. This is good because on of boys is doing Grade 1 and the other Grade 2, and often one will be covering a topic (synonyms, or homonyms for example) that the other has done a few days ago. It helps reinforce the learning of the other to have them working separately, but covering the same topics. This year we are adding in the things described as 'Optional' - some vocabulary and phonics resources. I am not sure how much we will stick to these, but I think they will be helpful at times when there is a sticking point. My middle son seems to struggle more with spelling, and therefore we are also adding in a specific spelling programme (we are trying Sequential Spelling this time). I like the way they are encouraged to use creative, expressive language without being limited by their writing or spelling ability (by dictating their stories, poems and imaginative writing to the parent) - it keeps writing 'real' - there is a clear reason for it, rather than being a more abstract exercise.

6) Handwriting. We chose Handwriting Without Tears. The four year old is using K, and the six year olds are using Level 1. They seem to do well with this system, and we will stick with it as they move into cursive.

7) Maths. We chose Singapore maths, and that is working well. What we like is the absence of excessive repetition. They get irritated with that, and so it is better to do the few examples required to grasp the concept. However, as with any discipline, there are certain 'threshold concepts' where they struggle a bit more. For example, one of the boys is struggling to grasp counting in tens and counting in ones. So I've used a few other resources (like the internet and lots of games I have made up). For next year, I am adding in the 'intensive practice' workbooks - I might not use every single exercise, but it will be useful for where they need a bit more. I am also ordering Mathtacular which is supposed to bring real life examples and problems to life, and a couple of books from 'The Life of Fred'. What I really want is for the children to see how maths and numbers are found throughout life, rather than thinking of maths as something dry that has to be done but which has no application. I've ordered Singapore Maths 2A and 2B for the older boys, and level K for the younger one - which seems to have a lot of manipulatives and things.

8) Science. We are using Sonlight Science A, and will progress to B. It really is a whistlestop tour through a wide range of topics. I suppose at elementary level, that's all it can be, and it presents a taste of many things. We've built around that quite a bit. For example, we have quite a few games and books to do with skeletons and human anatomy so have used these. We have a vegetable patch (and tropical rain and sun making things grow quickly) so have done many experiments out there. We expanded upon Newton's laws of physics with practical demonstrations involving running, bikes, balls and scooters. We don't always do the exercises in the order they are given - sometimes we wait until the opportunity fits in our day to day life. Also, there are days when the boys are restless and distractable and there are some things that just don't work well then!

9) Rosetta Stone (Spanish) - I'm really impressed with this. You can choose to set it to 'listening and speaking' and the software kind of tunes itself to the boys' voices. They haven't done anything via a computer before (we don't have ipads and smartphones and things), but can use the mouse well enough. They like being able to do this independently, and because all three boys are learning, we often hear them using Spanish in their play. We are also trying to learn the main local language here, but that is going less well - they prefer the interactive Rosetta stone interface to a young man coming to the house!

10) Music - we've been doing this independently with music school and choir, but I am ordering the Recorder elective from Sonlight to build on what they are already doing

11) Art - we tend to do quite a lot of drawing and painting anyway, but Artistic Pursuits is providing some ideas and guidance. I'm getting an art appreciation book from Sonlight K, to try and introduce them further to different styles.

12) Sport - again, we've been doing this independently and as a co-op, but there is a book on Home Education physical activity as an elective under K, and so we've ordered that for some fresh ideas for games that we can do on compound (and ideally involve the other children on compound too).

13) Play! Whilst there are so many marvellous resources, we also need to let them be children and to play! We try to let them play freely, but encourage them to use their imaginations and build on some of the things they have been reading about. Swiss Family Robinson is a favourite, and they love building shelters, weaving from fallen palm trees and today build beautiful structures from some bamboo they found whilst out walking. We also have childhood classics - lego, trainset and so forth. We do try and make sure everything has some kind of educational benefit, and it's lovely to watch them create and construct.

So, in summary, we've loved Sonlight. The individual lessons are quite short, but it builds up day after day. There is flexibility so of course you can do more one day and less the next, or take days off whenever you wish or need. There is no hurry. We tend to double up in the few days before an exciting event, and the boys don't really even notice. I love the diversity and flexibility and that they want to discuss so many things. This year we are adding in quite a few extra things that are supported by the Sonlight curriculum.

I must also comment that the customer service and advice provided by the Sonlight team is excellent. If you are not sure what to buy, or how to make the materials work for multiple children, they can advise. Similarly if you wish to pick and choose from the materials, that can be done. Prior to buying, you can have an advisor check over your 'shopping cart' to be sure you are ordering everything you need with no duplications or major omissions. I've been very impressed by this.

Yes, sometimes it gets tiring to constantly answer questions and have deep discussions about the meaning of life! But on the other hand, it for these kind of opportunities that homeschooling is really perfect - we can follow their interests, their curiosity, their questions and their concerns. There is space to speed up or slow down according to aptitude or interest, and you can easily school different ages and ability of children.

I'll likely write more about some of the specific topics on other occasions, and particularly about the new resources we are ordering this year for the first time.

Mothers' Day Celebrations

I was taken by surprise on Sunday when all the mothers were invited to go to the front of church, with a special time of singing and prayer. My husband was overseas, we've recently adopted our fifth child, and I was just feeling quite weary. This was the first time I'd taken four children to church by myself, and to be honest, I thought about staying home. I felt quite emotional as our role was acknowledged and valued, and as people gave thanks for the input their own mothers had into their lives. Motherhood is not something which is often highly valued in today's society. Whilst I appreciate the value of the role, and in some respects (many respects when I stop to reflect) I find it immensely rewarding, there are days when it feels utterly exhausting, unseen, unvalued, painful (physically and emotionally), and thankless. I had felt a little that way on Sunday morning.

Most cultures have some kind of Mothers' Day celebration. (This Sunday was the American one, also celebrated in other countries including here). But in all my years as a mother, this was the first time the mothers in whatever church I have been a part of have been acknowledged. Every other year, the message has been a lot more apologetic, reminding us that this can be a very painful day for the childless, for the single and for the bereaved. Every other year, it has been emphasised that there are many women who take on a maternal role within society and within the church, even if they have not been able to do so biologically. Whilst these things are true, today I feel like being controversial and stating that I think Mothers' Day (in whatever country) is not necessarily the time for these messages, for the following reasons:

1) The role of motherhood is different. There is a lot of unseen exhaustion, at times frustration and at times pain and disappointment. Many of us have resolved never to moan about the blessings we have been given, but that does not mean that the temptation towards discouragement is not there. It is good to recognise this role.

2) All Christians will know seasons of discouragement, pain, bereavement and loss. It may not be our children, or it may. But like it says in Ecclesiastes, 'there is a time to mourn and a time to rejoice'. A mothers' day celebration, to my mind, is a time to rejoice!

3) Expanding on the point above, perhaps more personally, there was a time when I was in a church where there was a young woman who took many years to conceive. We all had to be so careful with any kind of celebration to do with children, and even being as sensitive as we could, we would often spend long periods in the ladies' room consoling her. Now that might be the right and kind thing to do at times. But to me, I almost felt guilty for having a child, and unable to publicly rejoice as I might have wished. And then when my first child died, I felt that his was something else that had been taken away. As a bereaved mother, I appreciated all the more the need to celebrate new life and to support and encourage those who are mothers.

4) How far does one take being politically correct and 'sensitive'? Can one never celebrate a marriage for fear of upsetting single people, or bringing pain to the widowed? Can one never celebrate new birth, without fear of excluding the childless? Can one never celebrate an achievement, for fear of marginalising those who feel they would never achieve such a thing? I think we must take care here.

For me, exhausted and a little discouraged, to be affirmed and encouraged in what I find the toughest role in my life, was a blessing!

Painting Pots

I know a lady who paints pots. Ceramic pots that you might plant pretty flowers in for the garden. They have beautiful designs and colours, and some are quite intricate. If you like gardens, you would probably like one.

She also has a son, around the ages of my children. A long-awaited only child. She works from home so she can spend more time with him. But for the past few weeks, during school break, the boy has seemed quite lost, a bit bored and doesn't seem to have had much social interaction. We were round the other evening. The boy was watching a cartoon, jumping from glass-topped coffee table to sofa, and eating sweets. There were no adults in sight, but I found them in a side room, painting pots. Like I said, beautiful pots.

Everything in me wanted to point out (vociferously) that she was entirely missing the point, and that her son was lacking in discipline and attention and getting into all kinds of bad habits whilst she was painting pots! I didn't. After a while I took my tribe home and gave them dinner.

But I have been challenged. What are the 'pots' in my life? What are the things that consume my time and energy, but which have no lasting value? Sometimes it can be so much easier to see the futility of a particular task in somebody else. To see a bad habit in somebody else. But we are all fallible human beings, and I am sure we all have 'pots' in our lives. Good things perhaps, things that have a clear end-product and beautiful output, but which are trivial compared to the eternal value of instilling character and discipline into our children.

What might a 'pot' look like? I suppose if I am honest, what I like about 'pots' is that there is something clear to show and be proud of at the end of the day. Parenting, home educating, walking the Christian walk, seeking to share one's faith and encourage others - how often do these things have tangible, 'I did that!' results at the end of the day? In ten, twenty, forty years time, what things that I have done today will I remember? What tasks from this year will have lasting value? Will I wish I had put down my 'paintbrush' and spent time with people, particularly my children, at the time when it has been needed most?

What things in your life would an outsider with an eternal perspective look at and say, 'Why are you doing that?'

What legacy will a childhood leave?

In our home, we read many biographies. These days, there are some excellent resources for children of all ages (as discussed in this post on 'living books') The children love to hear of how men and women who started life as children who loved to play, grew up and did great things for the Lord. It inspires them. I'm also enjoying the autobiography of Nelson Mandela at the moment, and know that one day in the future, the boys will be challenged and inspired by much of his life (and will be able to reflect on the less praiseworthy elements, especially of his young adult life!)

One thing which has struck me is how many biographers start of describing their childhood, their memories of the first home, of their parents, of the prevailing culture and worldview within their home. Many, particularly those from previous generations, often describe a very free childhood, with hours spent playing out of doors with their friends, of exploring, imagining, creating and enjoying the simple pleasures of what was often a simple life. Many also describe discipline - of misdemeanours which were punished, and of the values and priorities of their families; in some situations the discipline may have been overly harsh, whereas in others it seemed appropriate and the evidence would suggest it achieved its end.

This has made me wonder about our current generation. This week in a prominent British newspaper was the report that many British children spend less time out of doors than the recommended minimum for prisoners. Whilst shocking, I was not surprised to read this. We lived in the UK for several years recently, and one of the most striking things was how few children we saw out of doors. We often had the parks to ourselves, and I was particularly taken aback one snowy Saturday morning when we walked several miles across two beautiful parks and saw no other children at all. I (in slight irony) posed the question on Facebook of whether children played in the snow these days, and received many replies suggesting that it was too cold for children to play outside. (Too cold? In the UK, where it rarely goes much below zero!) Similarly, discipline seems to be disapproved of; much has been written about 'positive parenting', and I am not going to discuss exactly what I think about some of that here and now, but what I would observe is the least disciplined generation of British children there has ever been. Parents feel unable to take their children into shops, or places to eat due to the risk of tantrums and poor behaviour. Schools have strict rules prohibiting discipline, and in any event, should a teacher attempt to discipline a child, it is most likely that their parent will lodge a complaint. The child is often elevated to the position of being one who controls a household!

But in seriousness, childhood has dramatically changed for the current generation of youngsters. Many are shuttled around from nursery to after school activities, and when at home, are occupied by televisions or i-pads. There is an increased emphasis on educational activities - and indeed many will justify the screen time in this respect. But the time for relationship, for imaginative play, for fresh air and appreciation of the beauty of nature seems to be ever diminishing. Many previous generations were characterised by a strong oral tradition of local and family legend, or folklore or of wisdom handed down from older to younger. Today, respect for elders is reduced and I do not know of many families where such time for listening and storytelling continues. Mealtimes were once the place where even a busy family would convene and share the events of their day; however many homes these days do not even contain a dining table, and microwave meals eaten in front of the television may be preferred.

I wonder what a child raised in such conditions would write in a biography many years hence? How would they recall their childhood? I also find myself wondering whether the plastic, superficial entertainment and endless activity without clear goals will produce a generation of clear-minded, motivated leaders who substantially impact upon society.

I could spend much time ranting about what I think may be wrong with today's society, with specific reference to the rearing of children. But others have written far more, and more eloquently on this topic. I would personalise the question and put it this way: What legacy am I providing for my children? What foundation in life? What will they remember when they are teaching their children? Are we providing the foundation and worldview required to make a difference in their generation?

What are we putting in place to give our children a strong and formative childhood? I wonder if part of the problem these days is that traditions have been lost, and few people are taking the time to consider what is really required. Rather, there is a tendency to drift, to follow the crowd and not to question, as opposed to intentional parenting.

For us, these questions partly motivate our choice to home educate. We wish to provide a diverse and rich curriculum where the children can explore and interact with history, geography, and world cultures, whilst also being equipped in the necessary language arts and mathematical skills they require. For us, Sonlight is ideal as it is structured with living books, not avoiding controversial or challenging topics, and provides the basis for much further discussion. We don't limit ourselves to the Sonlight resources - for example, my husband and I will both talk about things we have read in the evenings, of items in the news or events from our days, making these appropriate for the age of our children. By that, I don't mean we avoid discussing terrorism, war, famine or disaster, but rather we try to avoid detail or things which might be confusing for them (for example, what the motivation of a suicide bomber might be!) We want our children to be prepared to live in this world, and to understand that it is a broken and fallen place, and to be able to correctly apply Scripture into these most challenging of situations rather than living in some kind of spiritual bubble.

Secondly, we endeavour to provide the time for the children to play, and to be children. Not to always 'pounce' seeking to explain a concept, but rather taking a step back from time to time and allowing their childish imaginations to take them on adventures.

Thirdly, we prayerfully consider the use of our time - aiming for a few group activities and meet ups, but not so many that we don't have down time as a family, to read, to chat, to cook together and to sing together. Some people refer to this as 'margin' - having the space for the children to ask questions, to reflect, to spend longer on tasks rather than rushing through simply to tick off an item from a list.

My question for you today is similar: What kind of childhood would you wish your children to recall in years hence, and how do you aim to achieve this?

Celebrating World Adoption Day

Today is World Adoption Day. Here is an article I wrote a couple of years ago comparing our adoption of children to our adoption into God's family.

Quite a few people have asked us why we wanted to adopt a baby. There are many reasons and circumstances which led us to this point.  This response was written on May 30th 2010, four days after our successful adoption hearing in the High Court of the country where we had been working for the previous four years:

In some ways, the answer is incredibly simple. Working as doctors here, we see parents dying every week on the wards, often leaving very young children. The extended family often struggles to cope. We hear of children being abandoned, with desperate relatives seeing no other solution. There are too many children here without families, with a future which seems so uncertain. We longed for a home filled with children, and to be able to give a home and a family to an orphaned child was to be a great privilege.

When we were first married, we became frustrated by those who discussed contraception and childbearing as issues completely within human control. Adoption was often seen as a last resort, something only considered when all other avenues had been exhausted. Sometimes it is easier to form your stance on an issue when it does not affect you directly. Through the Christian Medical Fellowship, we were encouraged to consider biblical truth regarding issues of life and death, including matters surrounding fertility treatments, contraception and abortion.

The Bible makes clear that life begins long before birth. God reminded the prophet Jeremiah: ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you’.[1] A new life does not come about by accident. Scripture makes it abundantly clear that murder is contrary to the will of God;[2] so most Christians would agree that termination of pregnancy is wrong. However, if women requesting termination are counselled to consider alternatives, including putting the child forward for adoption, how should Christians respond? These children need a loving home where they will be nurtured.

We met many families who have adopted; each told a story of blessing and grace. We asked frank questions, and received honest, helpful answers. Each conversation increased our certainty that we should adopt. Nobody has pretended that things are always easy. However, I don’t know any family with biological children who would claim this either!

Our decision to adopt was also shaped by our understanding of the gospel. As Christians, we are adopted into God’s family. We were lost, helpless, without stability or direction and yet we have become heirs with Christ. I feel intensely aware of this. In the church I meet people who are my brothers and sisters, knowing a bond and a closeness which I never knew growing up in my home.

A biological link means something, but true Christian fellowship is far greater. God rescued us from darkness,[3] slavery,[4] pain[5] and death,[6]bringing us into his kingdom of light,[7] freedom,[8] joy,[9] peace[10] and everlasting life.[11] ‘For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship by whom you cry out, “Abba, Father”. The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ’.[12] We are shown grace[13] – the abundant blessing of God which we could never have earned through our own actions.[14] We are given a brand new start.[15] John Piper describes adoption as ‘the heart of the gospel’[16]mirroring many aspects of our salvation in Christ. In adoption, a child is taken from a difficult situation and given a new start. The child is given the same legal rights as a biological child. The orphan who had no family is given a home.

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[1] Jeremiah 1:5

[2] Exodus 20:13; Matthew 5:21; Romans 13:9

[3] Colossians 1:13

[4]Romans 8:15

[5] Romans 8:22

[6] 1 John 3:14

[7] Ephesians 5:8

[8] Romans 8:21; 2 Corinthians 3:17; Galatians 5:1

[9] Romans 14:17; Galatians 5:22

[10] John 14:27; Romans 14:17

[11] Romans 5:21

[12] Romans 8:15-17

[13] Romans 5:15-21

[14] Psalm 14:3; Romans 3:12,

[15] John 3:3; Galatians 6:15

[16] Piper J. Adoption: the heart of the gospel. bit.ly/pqlhVJ

Home Education Encouragement

At the weekend, around seven families from our area attended a day conference on Home Education Encouragement. The speaker was Voddie Baucham, who is well known for his books and sermons relating to family integrated church (and here) and to home education. In fact, Family Driven Faith was a book we read early in our own home education experience, and which to us made a lot of sense - almost like the voice of clarity and reason in a generation which seems even to twist the Bible to support what it wants to hear.

It was a refreshing and encouraging day. Rather than present a digest of the talks (there are plenty of great Voddie Baucham talks available online), I'm going to share some things I found most helpful:

1) Simply to be together with a large number of Christian home educating families, sharing a very similar perspective was refreshing. I was also encouraged by the diversity, and the differences in family size and structure. There was nothing uniform about it, but rather many unique families who are following the calling God has given them.

2) The reminder of the importance of worldview. The fact is, we communicate worldview whether we do so intentionally or not. It is like the 'silent curriculum' or the 'hidden curriculum' in medicine, whereby subtle attitudes and values are communicated from the more senior physicians. This can be for better or for worse. It was helpful to reflect on how harmful the subtle influences of the world around us can be.

3) Alongside this, the need to have strong Biblical arguments to refute the prevailing worldview of the age. It is not enough just to say something is wrong, or to have a shallow view of the Bible. We have a responsibility to 'study and do our best to present ourselves to God as one approved, a workman who correctly handles the word of truth' - God has given us the Bible and we must understand it well and teach it well to our children.

4) That in raising children we are raising 'intercontinental ballistic missiles' to be deployed in battling for the kingdom of Christ. The Bible uses the phrase 'like arrows in the hand of a warrior'. Often in Psalms the arrow analogy is used. And what is an arrow for, but to fire as a weapon. Many people have many goals and aims for our children, but what is our highest aim?

5) That specific curriculum choices are less important that our underlying philosophy of education. (And that we should have such a philosophy, and we should be clear about what we are trying to do and what the end result we are aiming for is, rather than drifting vaguely and hoping for the best)

6) That we should not confuse fleeing from idolatous aims for our children with low aims for them. There is a temptation amongst some Christian families to see excellence as evidence of idolatry, and so to seem to aim for mediocrity. This is not Biblical. Colossians Chapter 3 states plainly, 'whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for men'. The difference is our motivation, but excellence can bring God glory. In fact, it would bring God glory to have clear minded Christians serving Him from leadership positions in medicine, politics, economics, law and so forth. (This resonates with me, because several years ago a leader of ours frequently told me I was idolising my career because I was achieving good - or indeed excellent - results. This was not so, but it was a really hard time for us. It is something I frequently do ask God to search my heart with regard to, because I know that it is easy to kid yourself. But I truly believe that God gave me academic success to enable me to go places for His kingdom - and most of our academic medical work around the world has been enabled by this). I think this requires a separate post before too long.

7) That we should not worry about the 'academic year' or whether we have 'fallen behind' since one of the beauties of home education is that we are free from these constraints, Indeed if 'education is a life', then when does it start and stop? I think as a family we already put this into practice, and continue with the same kind of structures all year round, regardless of where we are. But it was a refreshing reminder

8) Voddie and his family (his seven youngest children, all of whom are adopted) are shortly relocating to Zambia to work alongside an academic insitute. I was encouraged by the faithfulness to follow this calling (and also I suppose because we are moving to Africa to work in academic institutes, and whilst we are there, if God makes it possible, may extend our family through adoption. Because of these parallels, I was encouraged to see people who share our motivations and have a similar perspective with regard to moving around whilst home educating the children).

And some more light-hearted ones:

1) I always wondered what large home schooling families do for transport, and I saw some lovely customised mini buses that did the trick quite nicely. I now know what we would need if God gave us more than six children.

2) My five year old (who is of slender build and short stature) leaned over and asked me, 'is he really that big?' So we went and said hello to Voddie, and were able to confirm that yes, he really is that big!

Bible Memory and Meditation

'Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your heart to the Lord.' Colossians 3:16

'Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.' Psalm 1:1-2

'Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth' 2 Timothy 2:15

Recently I was at a Bible study looking at the various different outworkings of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Jesus comforted His disciples that 'the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you'. John 14:26. As we looked at this, and other passages, the discussion took a turn which made me a little uncomfortable. Some people were arguing that systematic, diligent study and memorisation of Scripture might make reading the Bible become dry and 'academic', and therefore actually diminish one's relationship with God. However another person made the point that if we truly love something or somebody, we do not tire by spending much time and effort reading, learning, discussing and considering that topic or person!

It seems to me that serious Bible study is not considered a priority these days; there have been a number of recent occasions where I have been with well educated people who have been Christians for a long time and have been shocked at their lack of Bible knowledge, and their lack of ability to compare Scripture with Scripture and reach a balanced conclusion. I think there may be several reasons for this:

1) We live in an instant generation. Diligent Bible study takes time and it takes effort. The value is not always appreciated immediately. People may become discouraged quickly

2) We live in an age of technology. I am convinced that by having a concordance readily to hand on mobile phones and tablets, people no longer see the need to remember where key passages and verses are. There is no need, as one can always look it up.

3) Relating to the point above, I wonder whether different modalities for reading the Bible result in more dipping in and out, and less reading through long passages or working through whole books.

4) Our generation may be a little complacent. The fact we have the Bible in our hands, freely, in our country is a blessing. But the time may come when Bibles are not freely available. Christians have found themselves imprisoned for their faith with no access to a Bible; and then they have had to rely on what they have memorised

5) An incorrect understanding of the Holy Spirit. Yes, He certainly can bring passages to mind in key situations. Yes, He can certainly aid our memory of sections of the Bible we have learnt in the past. However the Bible also makes it clear that we are to 'study', to 'meditate day and night', 'to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly'

6) People do not appreciate how much they can remember. I have heard many people tell me that they are poor at remembering the Bible. I think they would be surprised if they set their mind to it. Can you remember a poem? The words of a song? A section of dialogue from a favourite film? You see, you can remember.

With the children, we hope to equip them with a bank of memorised Bible verses and passages that they will be able to draw on through their lives. Again, others have seemed surprised that we expect, for example, our three year old to be able to memorise a short psalm. However these parents are not at all surprised when their children can remember nursery rhymes and songs. Why the disparity? Does it relate to our worldview and priorities?

The understanding that people remember songs easily has led one family to set passages of Scripture to song (Seeds Family Worship). We recently bought some CDs, and they are great to listen to together in the car. Scottish musician Ian White has set many of the Psalms to music, and this also helps memory. We can read favourite passages over and over, and discuss them verse by verse to show the children how meditation helps us see different aspects to the rich word of God. I remind the boys that the Bible is God's word to us, and we need to give it the same attention as if God Himself came and stood in our front room and spoke directly to us.

Let me encourage you today - Bible study is not meant to be dry and uninspiring. Yes, there are sections of the Bible which are difficult to understand and take work, but it is all there for a reason. The wise man described in Psalm 1 made the word of God 'his delight'. For me there are certainly days when I do not feel immediately different having read the Bible (although there are also days where I feel refreshed, encouraged and inspired straight away). But there have been many days where the words I have read that morning, or earlier in the week, have direct relevance in a conversation later on.

About the only thing I can remember from any of the University Christian Union meetings I attended was one speaker (I cannot even remember who it was) who said, 'Many of you are doing degrees but are doing primary school level Bible study'. This stuck with me. The Bible is God's word to us and is of absolute central importance.

If you find Bible study difficult, pray that God opens your eyes to the wonderful truths that are there.

Welcome to the Blog!

Welcome to the new blog! Three years ago, with a baby and two two-year olds, we had made the decision to home educate our family. I was aware this decision might bring challenges, and that it was important to remain faithful to our convictions and to draw from the wisdom and resources of others. So we launched www.homeeducationnovice.blogspot.com. For three years I have posted there, at least once a week and that site will remain. However I have increasingly come to realise that our decision to home educated is simply one element of our life of faith – desiring to live for Christ in all things, and not follow the pattern of the world. Whilst home education will remain a major part of our lives for the foreseeable future, I have increasingly wanted to write about the life of faith – about global mission, about serving God as a family, about hospitality and relationships, about Christians in secular leadership roles, about financial priorities, about Christian marriage, family life and spiritual growth. So on the third anniversary of homeeducationnovice, I am launching An Abundant Adventure (www.anabundantadventure.blogspot.com)

When describing Himself as the Good Shepherd, Jesus promised ‘I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly’ (John 10:10). An abundant life is not necessarily an easy life – elsewhere it is described as entering ‘by the narrow gate’ (Matthew 7:13). However the twenty two years I have been following the Lord Jesus have certainly been abundant, and never more so since embarking on parenthood seven years ago.

It is my prayer that you find the posts here inspiring, challenging, comforting, refreshing and encouraging.