Be still and know that I am God

'But godliness with contentment is great gain' 1 Timothy 6:6

'Be still and know that I am God' Psalm 46:10

How do you decide whether a day has been productive? How do you judge whether your efforts to do whatever you have been doing are worthwhile? Is this a question you even ask, or are you so busy with the constant stream of tasks and activities that you don't even have time to stop and reflect?

In my professional life, my work can be measured in terms of grants secured, projects undertaken, results presented, papers published, presentations given and so forth. In clinical work it can be harder to quantify the outputs, but there is a clear task ahead of you, and you can normally be clear when the days' work is over: there are no more patients to see or the shift has ended.

But is the whole of life like that? Can we measure ourselves in terms of outputs, achievements, goals and tasks accomplished? Should we try to? Or do we need to step back and consider the greater picture?

I believe that there is a place for clear goals and targets. As homeschooling parents, we find it of great benefit to follow a schedule and to plan additional activities which complement this. We find it helpful to sit down from time to time and consider the progress and challenges of each individual child. I realise that there are other home educators who don't even find this necessary, and prefer to have a more laid-back, child-led approach. I believe some of this will depend on temperament, on the underlying motivation for home educating and many other factors.

Similarly, in our Christian walk, I do believe we need to take care not to drift. I recently considered parallels between physical training and spiritual discipline. I remember being extremely challenged by a speaker at the Christian Union when I was a student, rebuking us that many of us were doing our subjects to degree level, yet were doing our Bible study at primary school level. The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy to, 'Study and do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, who correctly handles the word of truth'.

Goals, targets, aims and structures are not wrong. But I think the problem comes when we define ourselves only in these terms.

How does God see us? Does He see us as machines which undertake a list of tasks, and rebuke us when we do not achieve them all? Does He not see far more than that? As a young Christian, somebody encouraged me to go through the Bible and write down all the statements that spoke of who we are in Christ. It was an amazing exercise, and for several years I had this amazing list of promises and truths pinned to the wall by my bed. I came to realise, for the first time ever, that God's love was unconditional, not dependent on my achievements. I came to more fully (I say 'more fully' as I am not sure whether this side of heaven I will ever grasp it fully) understand the amazing free gift of God's grace. I came to understand that I was not defined in what I achieved or did not achieve, but rather in terms of who I was before God. A much loved child. Accepted, forgiven, adored.

As Christians, it is easy to accept this amazing grace in the early days, but subtly start to add layers of man-made pressures and targets on top of this. Not all these things are wrong - we want to be engaged in gospel work, we want to be helping others understand the truth of God, we want to serve and to encourage. But when these things start to become pressures and to define us, then we have slipped. Paul wrote to the Galatian church, 'You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?' Galatians 3:1-3

At the end of a day, do you define yourself by what you think you have achieved, or what you think you can show for your labours? If you are a parent, you will know that there are days when the house is tidy, there is a delicious meal cooked, and the children have produced some kind of art or craft which shows how hard they have worked (and what a creative person you are). You will also know that there are days when you feel you are going round and round in circles and can't fully get into anything because you need to stop and try to correct the attitude of one or other  child. Which is more important? I believe the second has greater lasting benefit, but at the time can feel so thankless. This is one simple example, whereas I am sure you can think of many more!

Similarly, it is an error to think that some tasks bring God more glory than others. Certainly there are things which bring Him less glory, things that are sinful and selfish. But that is not what I refer to. I mean that if our task is to raise our children and look after the home, then all the mundane tasks this involves can be done to God's glory. Brother Lawrence discovered this, as he wrote in 'Practising the Presence of God'. He chose to work in the kitchen rather than do anything more 'spiritual', and learnt to do all for the glory of God. Sometimes the task will be more well-defined and have a clearer outcome; but here our temptation may be to pride, to consider it our own achievement or handiwork.

In work outside the home, there are also tasks that lead to recognition, and others which are done in secret to the glory of God. One could give a well-attended public lecture for an hour, or could spend an hour working one to one with a struggling student. Which is more important? A whole list of tasks could be crossed off, or you could spend extra time encouraging a client who really needs to talk things through. Again, same question?

For me, I need to remember that God loves me for who I am, not for what I do. When there is a quiet moment, it is so tempting to rush on to the next job that could be done, to start organising something, to squeeze in some extra work, to find something clear to do. But there are times when we should simply stop, and reflect on who we are, who God is, and how amazing that relationship is.

This week I choose to remember God's amazing grace and 'be still'.

Worship: Our true home

Yesterday, I was part of a day of worship celebrations. Our country remembers martyrs who died for their faith several hundred years ago, but this remembrance has become a bit idolatrous as many make a pilgrimage to a shrine. So many of the churches in the city came together to share an afternoon of worship. As we sang, danced and played in many styles and several languages, I was refreshingly reminded of how one day, 'every tribe and tongue' will sing before the Throne in heaven.

Lately, I'd been feeling a little unsettled, and yesterday was a wonderful chance to stop and reflect on what truly matters.

Psalm 84 reads, 'How lovely is your dwelling-place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself where she may have her young - a place near your altar, I Lord Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage...' - there is a deep homesickness which comes from time to time, but I come to see that it is not a homesickness for any place in this world, but a longing for eternity. A heart set on pilgrimage - in this world, we will go where the Lord calls us, and there will be times of abundance and times of hardship, but our eternal destiny is eternal worship.

I love Psalm 27: 'One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of  my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple' - that is my desire, that is my priority. Many other things need to be done, but reflecting on the story of Martha and Mary, only one thing is of greatest importance.

Moving on in Psalm 27, 'Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Saviour. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me'. One of the most painful things in my life has been rejection by my parents - it resulted in me being taken into care as a teenager, and in adulthood they do not like the choices we have made, probably largely because they spring from a faith they cannot understand. But there is such comfort in this verse - sometimes I feel it was written there just for me, it is so precious.

One of the pastors spoke on worship - what it is and what it isn't. He reminded us, in the words of John Piper, that 'mission exists because worship doesn't'. We were reminded that worship involves all of us, every aspect of our while lives, and that it is not simply a matter of music or song. We were encouraged to see God in all His splendour and glory, and to take a bigger picture of how God is working throughout the world. Often our prayers are too small and self-centred. Often we lose the big picture of the Great Commission and the greatest purpose of our lives.

It was a real blessing to have a whole day to reflect on these things and to join with others from such different cultures and backgrounds in celebrating our amazing God. Life has been busy lately, and so it was a wonderful gift to be released from my usual responsibilities to be part of the day, and I feel more refreshed than I would have been from anything else.

Let me encourage you when you feel exhausted, discouraged and perhaps uncertain: take time out to focus on the Lord. Maybe not even a whole day, maybe just an hour or two. Re-read some of the Psalms. Remember all the Lord has done for you. Remember His amazing promises.