Serving with our whole lives (not just a specific 'ministry')

'He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God' Micah 6 verse 8

'Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God- this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will' Romans 12 verses 1-2

Have you every wondered how you can best serve God with your life? Have you ever heard others talking about their 'giftings' and wondered what yours might be? Have you ever heard somebody decline an invitation to serve in a particular way because that, 'Is not my ministry'? Have you found yourself responding in such manner?

I think I could answer, 'Yes!', to all of those questions.

Lately I have found myself frustrated at times when it has seemed others have been so focussed  on what 'their ministry' might be that they seem to miss out on opportunities to serve and encourage those whose paths they cross on a regular basis. This seems to be a particular challenge for some groups of Christians more than others. I appreciate that most people have busy lives with multiple competing commitments and that it is never going to be possible for an individual or group of people to be able to meet the needs of everybody who surrounds them, all of the time. But I wonder whether those of use who work-cross culturally, and are often in a particular country to respond to a particular need, or to work with a specific project or organisation are more at risk of missing the opportunities that God brings to us every day.

One thing that challenged me on this recently was a couple of my local friends commenting how we are unusual for the way we have integrated into our local church. I love our church! It is the greatest blessing to us, and as a family it is wonderful to be up and down to different meetings and ministries through the week, and for the children to grow up seeing the central role of the church in our lives and community. It is not just a Sunday or midweek thing, and it is through serving together in these different aspects that we have been blessed with strengthened friendships in the country that has been our home for these past three years. Of course we have taken delight in embracing the fellowship and different opportunities to serve, and to learn more of the different needs in society here, the cultural beliefs and taboos, the biggest challenges that young people face, and generally the best way to reach out with the gospel. But our friends have mentioned that other foreigners tend to remain more on the fringes and be more distant, and I have found myself responding that we are maybe different because we 'are not missionaries, we are just normal church members'. But that has made me contemplate this area more. There are some areas of church life that are tougher than others, and there have been times when I have invited missionaries who live locally to join and support the work (actually, I am asking them for encouragement and support in a role that I struggle with), but the response is usually that they are too busy with their 'ministry'.

As a young Christian I attended a Christian Medical Fellowship conference where Helen Roseveare was the speaker. She was brilliant because of her honesty and humility. She spoke of her early years in Congo (more detail is in her books, 'Give me this mountain', and 'He gave us a valley'.) Two things struck me deeply, such that I remember more than twenty years later. Firstly she describes how frustrated she used to become by interruptions, because her task had been to build a hospital and establish a nursing school. How could she do that when she was constantly interrupted? But with time, she came to see that the plans God had for her on a particular day were delivered to her in the form of interruptions. The second thing I remember her saying referred to her ministry in later life. She said that when people asked how she was, she would always mention that she was tired and busy, but then she was convicted of that, and realised that if she really was serving God in all ways with all she had, then she would expect that she might be tired and busy. So she stopped saying that.

The other week I was visiting friends and saw a very beautiful quote on their fridge: '“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” John Wesley. This made me think again about the same area.

In the same week, I was able to enjoy a home Bible study with other friends, and we were discussing 'the body of Christ' and how each of us has a role. One friend gave a helpful illustration - he explained that in the army, a person may be a doctor, or a telecommunications expert, or another technical role, but first and foremost, they are a soldier. They cannot neglect their responsibilities as soldiers because of their technical role. I found this very helpful. Yes, the Bible does talk about specific gifts that are not given to everybody - passages detailing this include 1 Corinthians chapter 12. But there are more passages which give instructions as to how to ordinary Christian is to relate both to other Christians (as a Bible study, look up all the passages which use the phrase 'one another') and to those we seek to reach with the gospel. We are called to be wise, to make the most of every opportunity, to watch our conversation carefully, to visit and care for 'the least of these', to look after the orphan and the widow, to visit the prisoner, and to do much of this 'in secret' without drawing attention to our acts, knowing that it is seen and honoured by God. That is very different from publicly proclaiming 'my ministry' and sticking to that.

It reminds me also of the well known story of the 'good Samaritan' (Luke 10 verses 25-37). A man has been beaten and left for dead along a roadside. A priest passed by and also a Levite. They were the religious people of the day, and the passage indicates they saw the man, but they passed by and did nothing. The reasons may have been that they were in a hurry, and this was an inconvenience, or that they were worried about ceremonial cleanliness. Some of it could have been simple pride regarding their positions in society. But they did the exact opposite of what Christ would call us to do for those who are destitute and in desperate need. It was a Samaritan, the last person one might have logically expected, who showed the love, kindness, compassion, patience and generosity that resulted in the man's recovery.

It is too easy for us to justify being like the priest or Levite. We can excuse our actions, but I think the overarching theme of the Bible is along the lines of the John Wesley quote - to do as much good as we can, to as many people as we can, for as long as we can. This might not always be noted. It might not earn us prestige in our communities. For the cross-cultural workers and missionaries, it might not be the kind of thing you choose to report in your newsletters or during your presentations on home assignment. But it is through the mess and inconvenience of daily life that God brings gospel opportunities right to you. Your choice is simply whether to trust God with your time, your energy, your resources and then do your best to do what is right, or to turn the other way.

Long time, no post!

This has been the longest gap in my blog for five years. There was no particular reason, except that I felt there was nothing to say. Life has settled into a lovely routine of living and working here in East Africa, the children are all doing well in their homeschooling, with the usual ups and downs and attitudes that most homeschooling blogs describe, and life has just been busy.

Also, round about November, I was hit with some kind of exhaustion. I still don't quite know how to describe it - it was like a tiredness that wouldn't go away, a lack of energy and enthusiasm for things I would normally enjoy, and a very strong loss of confidence in some of my academic work. It is difficult to say whether it was a bout of clinical depression, whether it was simply exhaustion, and hard to work out how much of it was normal and how much was something to be concerned about. There had been a few things that led up to it - having not taken enough leave, feeling life is in a bit of a limbo whilst awaiting the finalisation of our daughter's adoption (the main challenge is that we cannot currently leave the country as a family, and so my husband and I have had to make quite frequent trips alone), and then there were some interesting interpersonal challenges in the workplace. Whatever it was, it was unsettling and frightening and made me take a good long look at my life, consider different aspects of my personality and to reflect on what changes might be necessary to either prevent it getting worse, or to try and prevent it happening again. I am starting to feel a lot more like my usual self, the workplace issues are improving (and a couple of people have remarked that the situation had seemed 'impossible' - I can see God's hand in the changes that have come about!), I am less emotional and more rational about things. But I still feel a vulnerability that is hard to really explain. I am thankful for this time, as with all trials, God has shown many truths to me.

Here are some things I learned:

1. Just how common this type of thing is. I think the devil uses this as a ploy to make us feel alone and isolated, because as soon as I started deliberately trying to be more honest about how I was feeling, it was amazing how many other people told me of times in their lives when they had faced something similar. I think it is easy to only see other people's successes, and this is probably magnified in the social media era - it can seem that everybody else is having a really productive, abundant, joyful life, and that you are the only one who feels ground down and discouraged.

I was reminded again of how God places us in communities, and creates us with a need for interpersonal relationships and fellowship. It can be difficult to open up and be more vulnerable. I find it particularly difficult because at an earlier time in life when I tried to be open about some traumatic events from my earlier life, I was told that I was making things up and seeking to be manipulative, when this was far from the truth. I learnt that one must take a bit of care with whom one shares the deeper struggles - and the book of Proverbs has plenty to say about choosing friends wisely, and taking care from whom one might seek counsel. But this time, I felt encouraged that I have good friends who have walked similar dark paths, and with whom I can be more honest.

2. The need for vulnerability. I love 2 Corinthians 4:7 which reminds us that 'we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us'. A friend told me of a Japanese art form called kintsugi: taking broken pottery and making the cracks part of the design and beauty, something which speaks a lot of how God can use our brokenness. Many people give testimony to how the gospel is more clearly spoken through times of pain and trial, and how seeing a Christian clinging onto their faith and seeking to navigate turbulent waters in a godly way can be a more powerful testimony than a Christian who is bursting with joy and enthusiasm. It can be uncomfortable, it is certainly humbling, but God can use times of darkness to how His light. I have noticed that an element of vulnerability can be helpful in leading teams - to be willing to immediately admit errors and put in place corrective action, to learn from mistakes and keep moving forward, perhaps also to be more aware of the emotions of my team members.

3. The need for spiritual self-examination. Life can get busy, and days can feel like an endless cycle of routine tasks; sometimes even the spiritual disciplines can also feel like 'just another task', rather than relishing in the most wonderful of all relationships. I love the Psalms when I am finding life tough. An example would be Psalm 19, 'But who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; let them not rule over me.' or Psalm 139, 'Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offence in my way and lead me in your everlasting ways'. Both of these are prayers for God to search our hearts and reveal to us ways in which we are not honouring Him. For me, recently I had to consider what the root causes of my anxiety were. I found that some of it was rooted in pride - the fear of failure or public disgrace of some kind, the concern about what others might think of me, generally taking too much of it onto myself rather than trusting that the God who has always provided me with the necessary grace and strength would continue to provide in changing situations.

4. The need for self-awareness - sometimes I would expect other people to tell me to slow down, to take a break, to acknowledge the workload and so forth. However, everybody is busy and people cannot read minds. I have learnt that in the workplace it helps to be positive and enthusiastic in order to motivate the team, and to persuade others of the value of the work (that is important when it comes to getting new grants and being able to disseminate the work in scientific conferences and journals). I also find that positivity can be self-perpetuating. However, I need to be aware of times when I also need to rest. I recently wrote a little about personality types, and how I have found it helpful to consider the best ways I can recharge. I feel this has given me the confidence to make deliberate choices - for example to structure my workload in ways that enable me to use my strengths best, and not get too drained (for example, if there are several days with multiple face to face meetings, I can then do with a day where I spend longer writing).

5. Need to schedule rest, rather than waiting until exhausted. This overlaps with the previous point, but I realised it had been over a year since we had scheduled any time off. Instead I had taken the odd day here and there, often in response to being exhausted rather than as a pro-active positive choice. Whilst I have the enormous blessing of a flexible working pattern and quite a lot of control over where and when I work, this can also bring the drawback of feeling the need to work almost continuously or at least working within every possible time-slot, rarely taking time off to recharge. Last year I noticed how drained I felt after large grant applications, and decided to take time off after those. It has been good to travel with my husband when he goes to work in a beautiful, peaceful and slightly cooler region several hours from here. By leaving town for a few days, this also gives a break from several of the other activities which I love and which I feel are important, but which I find very tiring (like hosting Christian meetings whilst juggling four young children - it is harder when my husband is away!) It sounds a simple change, but it has made a big difference.

I think that will do for now - but these are five things I have learnt or been reminded of through a recent time of trial. I hope that this post brings some encouragement to you, in whatever situation you currently find yourself.

Happy New Year! Resolutions?

Happy New Year! I wonder how you celebrated? Did you make any resolutions?

Here in Africa, it seems very popular among churches to have an overnight celebration on New Year's Eve. Our church met from 9 pm until about 6 am. I confess, I left at 1 am, knowing it would not be a wise choice to begin the new year without sleep. All around, you could hear noisy praise and prayer meetings lasting throughout the night. What a contrast to what I would normally associate with Hogmanay! In my home village in Scotland, there would often be a party lasting until breakfast time, where everybody would bring an instrument or simply their voices, and we would play traditional songs and dance the old dances through the night, often out in the cold, frosty air; I loved these parties. There seemed to be a remnant of good, old-fashioned fun, without excess. In contrast to that, I remember one night when I went to Edinburgh with friends for the street party; that was quite a terrifying evening with large crowds of rowdy young teenagers and young adults, mostly under the influence of excessive alcohol (and probably more). I remember feeling cold, lost, alone and yes, quite frightened at times. Whilst some of the praise parties that go on over here may be loud and not always theologically precise, it is amazing to be part of a culture which places putting Christ first as a high priority. I enjoyed spending those hours reflecting on God's goodness and faithfulness over the past years, and committing the year ahead to Him.

People often talk about resolutions. I gave up on the idea of specific new year resolutions a long time ago; if something needs to be changed, then why wait until new year? However, I do find it profitable to spend some time reflecting on the overarching goals of the year ahead. What should be our priorities? 

A friend recommended a list of 70 resolutions, written in modern English but attributable to the great Puritan preacher, Jonathan Edwards. These were not so much New Year resolutions, but the standards by which he sought to live his life, and against which he continually measured his spiritual state. It's impressive! When I read through it, I feel quite challenged that I don't really think in such depth about all aspects of life.

But what does the Bible say about resolutions? There are so many exhortations and admonitions to live pure, holy, righteous lives characterised by love and acts of service underpinned by pure motives that I will not attempt to list them. But in one place the Apostle Paul specifically talks about his resolutions:

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2 

I suppose my goals as we move into 2016 could similarly be summarised. To quote Paul again,

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do... The big, obvious, public things. And the small, seemingly insignificant, hidden, private things. And not only what you do, but the thoughts you think, the motives that drive you, the desires of the heart. In all these things to give ultimate glory to God.

The ramifications of this will be different for each of us. But I  think that anybody who reads that verse prayerfully will be convicted. I wish to get to 31st December 2016 (if the Lord spares me) and be able to see ways in which God has been glorified in all areas of life. I won't have a checklist quite like that of Jonathan Edwards, although it might prove helpful to have a shorter, focussed list of areas to consider. But my prayer is that in ALL things I can resemble Christ more and more.

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Philippians 1:27 - the word 'whatever' refers to any kind of outward circumstance which may present itself. Some months and years are characterised by relative peace, prosperity, material blessing and strong relationships. Other times may seem marred by illness, discordant relationships, financial hardships and spiritual despondency. But WHATEVER happens, we are to live God honouring lives.

As you move into 2016, may your life resemble Christ more and more. May your words bring blessing and encouragement. May your home provide peace and security. May your choices be wise. May your Bible reading bring greater understanding of God's goodness. May your hope be fully in Him.

Engagement without Entanglement

You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 2 Timothy 2:3-4

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

How do we engage in warfare without becoming entangled? How do we live our lives in cultures that are often hostile to the gospel without being sucked in?

I think Christians have battled with this throughout the ages. There are two opposite errors. The first would be to withdraw entirely from the world, to live in monastic seclusion and spend days in prayer, fasting and meditation. However, this misses the point for several reasons. Firstly, people who do this are quick to discover the darkness of their own hearts. Secondly, as the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans, how can somebody hear about God if nobody tells them? We have a responsibility, as Paul instructed Timothy, 'Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering...' (2 Timothy 4:2)

The opposite error is to try so hard to 'be all things to all men', that we forget our purpose, our mission and our holiness. There are times when well-meaning Christians try so hard to walk amongst their unbelieving friends that they are sucked into a vortex of attitudes and behaviours that do not give God glory. Does much effective Christian witness occur in noisy nightclubs? Really?

The other morning as I read Paul's letter to Timothy, I was challenged afresh. We are called to be here, and to seek to serve and honour God with every thought, word and action. As the Westminster Shorter Catechism stages, the 'ultimate end of man is to serve God, and to enjoy Him forever'. But how do we really do that? How do we protect ourselves from the errors of the extremes described above?

I do not think there is a simple catchphrase answer to this! I believe it might be a tightrope that we continue to walk throughout our Christian lives! However, here are some initial thoughts:

1) Do not forget that the Lord said, 'Be holy for I a holy'. Take time to reflect on what holiness means. Do not become blase to the amazing work of Christ. I suggest reading Leviticus followed by Hebrews and reflecting on these things.

2) Pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). God cares about the small details. Jesus gave us a model prayer, and part of that included the words, 'lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil'. We are warned that 'the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour' (1 Peter 5:8). Paul's letter to Timothy, quoted above, clearly sets the context as that of a battle - we must not forget this.

3) Have accountability. If you are going into a situation which feels very dark, very godless, or where you know you will encounter temptation (such as parties, bars, nightclubs, or other situations which you will be aware of), ask others to pray for you. Ask them to hold you accountable for your conduct. And pray together.

4) Spend regular, quality time alone, reflecting and meditating on the truth of the gospel. Read the Bible. Pray. Sit quietly and listen for the still small voice of God. If you have a true, active, ongoing relationship with God, that will overflow in your speech and your attitudes.

This week, how are you going to engage with the world around you for the purposes of glorifying God, without becoming entangled?

How do our actions demonstrate our beliefs?

'Even a child is known by his actions, whether his conduct is pure and right' Proverbs 20:11

That was our memory verse the other week. We've been trying to explain to the boys that your actions can betray what you really believe and what you really prioritise. So, it is not enough simply to say that you love God, or that you care for others; we need to show that through our actions. It is not enough to say 'God knows my heart', because so often our actions betray our true attitudes.

Having recently moved to an east African city, the aspect of daily life that I struggle with most is the driving. It is as though there are no rules, and every driver has only him/herself in mind. For example, at a roundabout there is no concept of 'giving way to traffic coming from the right'. If you did that, you would never move, and you would receive abuse from the other drivers around you! Instead, you have to inch forward even when it would not be considered technically your right of way. At junctions, similarly, there seems no concept of giving way to others. You go. And if the two lanes of traffic are not enough, you make a third lane, even if this results in an obstruction to oncoming traffic. As a pedestrian, you have to look both ways on both sides of the dual carriageway, as motorbikes will frequently go down the wrong side  in order to get to their destination more quickly. And at peak times, the motorbikes will mount the pavement and show little regard for pedestrians. As I have watched this (I am yet to drive in this city, but walk 5-10 Km daily), I came to reflect on what this shows about worldview. This is a country where about 80% of people would define themselves as Christian. As I watch the driving, I cannot see much evidence of 'love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness or self-control' (the spiritual fruit described in Galatians 5:22). As an onlooker, it seems very obvious that people are seeking short term solutions which are only storing up more difficulties for themselves and others. And yet, to the individual, what they are doing is (probably) the logical and right thing, and it is likely that they have never experienced another way to drive.

As I reflected, I also wondered how a person from here would react to going to the UK. They might find our driving very ordered and calm (perhaps frustratingly so). But what would they see in our general lives which betray the values we claim to hold dear? I imagine that one of the first things that would be seen as shocking is the individualisation of society - here, every driver is out for himself, but family and tribal bonds are highly valued. Back home, most people live life for themselves, for their comfort, their security, their happiness or their fulfillment, often without regard for the impact on their family or wider society. What about the materialism? How many people in the western world are thankful that their family of six have a comfortable two bedroom house? Or are able to eat more than once per day, even if it is the same food every day? How many people are thankful for a simple life, compared to always wanting that little bit more? Nicer clothes, more expensive holidays, bigger homes with gardens, more spacious and powerful cars? Would that seem strange to a person from the developing world?

Those are two examples that I immediately think of on a societal level. And maybe it is easy for some of us to be confident that these are not problems for us. But what about at the level of your own life? What do value most highly? Is it comfort? Popularity? Success? Being seen as a good Christian? Being a model homeschool family? Living frugally? Or using seeing every single thing you have as a gift from God to be held lightly and used for His kingdom?

How do your actions reflect what you prioritise?

'Search me O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offence in my ways, and lead me in the way everlasting'. Psalm 139